I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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