Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
