what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
