porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
