so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
