Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
