i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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