Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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