hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
