the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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