I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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