I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
