This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
