We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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