marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
