I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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