I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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