fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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