I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
