A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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