He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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