thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you traded sex for a burrito?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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