There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
