We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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