Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
