Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
