I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
