And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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