Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
