so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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