it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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