then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
