I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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