i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
