Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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