Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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