he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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