I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
