My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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