I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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