Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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