i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
