You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
