the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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