You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
