I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
