smell my finger.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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