I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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