Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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