no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
