I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
