I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
