it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
