I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
